Numerous bags of heroin involved. I’m not even gonna say the number because I’ll just get upset again.

Eve Severe just hasn’t been the same since her uncle passed away. Though he was more friend than uncle, with a pill habit, a quick wit, and a history of early 80’s concert attendance that makes us all weak in the knees and wishing we had been born ten years earlier.

He was a GOD basically

She’s had her share of drugs since, and psychotic lesbian relationships as well. But I always chalked it up to the grieving process. I know firsthand how it can send you into madness. I even think it’s necessary to get a little “lost” in order to find your way back from something like that.

I was concerned but never really worried. I guess considering her wacky history nothing seems shocking at this point. And she always springs back time and again. Hell, she’s talked ME off the proverbial ledge a few times. Plus there’s been the distance between us since she moved back to Detroit. I guess I just didn’t notice just how low she had gotten.

Tonight on the phone she spilled the whole story of the overdose and the events leading up to it. I won't share the details – I’ve probably already said too much.

I guess the point is we all reach that place at some time in our life. When the scales tips in favor of that bag of heroin or whatever your poison may be. When the mysteries of life seem too elusive and the pain too much to bear. Even for the people we think are the strongest.

I don’t know what I would have done if things turned out differently for Eve. I just can’t imagine a world without her in it.

But it’s a delicate balance, this life. We all skirt the edge of the cliff from time to time. We all stumble.

And I can’t imagine that that she managed to dust herself off and get back up again only to serve my selfish needs. No, I believe destiny has something in store for her.

There’s something in store for all of us and I for one am not going to fight it anymore.

Tomorrow morning I am going to kick up the covers and stare into the sun.

I’m gonna sing Le Tigre songs in the shower.

I am going to shave and put on my favorite shirt - accessorize even!

I am going to rub scented oil into my skin and ooze a gorgeous smell all day.

I will write love poems to my secret crushes.

I will learn to play guitar.

I will take the stairs.

I will stop to smell the roses and pet the dogs.

If you run into me you better be ready for a tackle-hug and a declaration of my love.

Eve, if you’re reading this, I love you. I will never forget what you told me tonight.