Trouble is, I'm not exactly sure what a glamorous, three-way-slutt knockout like myself should dress like. What fashion icon is there to look up to?

And don't go trying to talk me into some crazy business about Rod Stewart and hot pants that ends up with him in an emergency getting a gallon of sperm pumped out of his stomach. BECAUSE I WILL NOT WEAR LYCRA. It's just not natural.

And I will not accept any variations on the hanky code.

I am talking about THE LOOK.

Left to my own devices, I will probably weigh the pros and cons of shoulder pads and jeweled turbans. You know, something exotic.

Something that screams "FINGERCUFF ME!" louder than badly phrased Double Stuff Oreo enema double entendre.

Any thoughts?