Some of my favorites:

“Did you know Tori Amos was in a movie with Julia Roberts called Mona Lisa Smile?”
-Goth Chris, June 1, 9:19 a.m.

“On Cheaters right now there is a gay couple ...”
-Goth Chris, Jun 1, 11:35 a.m.

“I wish you had bought that new version of The Sentinel ... I want to know if it is letterboxed or not ...”
-Goth Chris, Jun 2, 6:21 a.m.

“Petting my beaver”
-Goth Chris, Jun 4, 5:57 p.m.

“Paula just took a big bite of a ham biscuit and said that is so good for my pie-hole”
-Goth Chris, Jun 7, 3:14 p.m.

“They just played Mitsou at Sidetrack”
-Goth Chris, Jun 15, 10:08 p.m.

“I hate you”
-Goth Chris, Jun 16, 5:53 a.m.

“I am losing my mind”
-Goth Chris, Jun 16, 6:36 a.m.

“No I am not arrested ,,, everything is fine”
-Goth Chris, Jun 17, 4:21 p.m.

“Right now I am drunk and eating cold pizza and listening to T’Pau”
-Goth Chris, Jun 20, 7:08 a.m.

“A cute guy gave me his number last night and I lost it ... I am going to hang myself ... my This Mortal box set is yours ...”
-Goth Chris, Jun 20 9:14 a.m.

Typical text messages from Goth Chris on a Friday night:

“I’m on my way”
-Goth Chris, July 15 11:25 p.m.

“Where R U ???”
-Goth Chris, July 15, 11:54 p.m.

“I am at Sidetrack”
-Goth Chris, July 16, 12:05 a.m.

“You told me Sidetrack!!!”
-Goth Chris, July 16, 12:11 a.m.

“I am all the way in the back. I’m drunk”
-Goth Chris, July 16, 12:20 a.m.

Then later that night ...

“Just so you know ... I am home and not vomiting ... no one wanted to fuck me ...”
-Goth Chris, July 16, 4:17 a.m.

“I just ordered pizza ...”
-Goth Chris, July 16, 4:20 a.m.

“The gay gene should be eradicated”
-Goth Chris, July 16, 4:40 a.m.