Although the storybook presentation of your new album is flawless and the limited edition CD wallet personally designed by you was an extremely stylish and generous touch –

It is with great regret that I am writing this to say that the album itself sucks balls.

But I do appreciate the time and energy that went in to “pretty it up”.

And of course I bought it anyway, just because I wanted to hear you screech like a cheerleader on crack.

Love,

Petey

P.S. I had no idea you were black.

cc: Dr. Dre, Andre 3000, The Neptunes, Nellee Hooper, Dallas Austin, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis

bcc: Ronnie, Bobbie, Ricky and Mike