Just when it seemed like the years had left there indelible mark and I had lost you forever to the mysterious void of “Ex-Boyfriend Land” here you are and I have to say you are remarkably still the same funny, intense, insane person you were back then.
It has been so long, Dustin but I still remember all of it. I have scenes captured in my head like photographs. And I’ve memorized every detail like the back of my hand.
It’s funny because that picture where you’re posing with those little puppetine elves in my bedroom, I STILL HAVE THAT PICTURE and how could I forget that look on your face? Sheer insanity.
I remember the late night binges on delivered sandwiches. Roast beef with lots of mayonnaise. Instant Alfredo noodles and how you showered them with black pepper.
I remember dancing at C- Street, the disco nights, the shopping at Dandelion for the perfect vintage outfits.
I remember Zelda on the Super Nintendo and Tetris Attack.
I remember Marlena possessed on Days “I know I’m up against something very powerful ... and very evil ... “ and the way you made us reenact the parts after every episode. How we argued over who got to play the part of Kristen.
I remember Natural Born Killers and the obsession with all things Juliet Lewis. The movie she did with Brad Pitt “Too Young To Die” – yeah I remember that too.
I remember pet snakes and eating acid on New Years Eve.
I remember Etch-A-Sketch and his closeted boyfriend.
I remember Marc and Seth and secret words for marijuana like “froosh”,
I still laugh when I think about how you and Marc used to lock yourselves in the bedroom with the answering machine to record messages. They were like little retarded performance art sketches. “Mary stole my Barbie doll” Mark would say in a squeaky voice and then you replied after a long pause “Let me get my hatchet” and the hairs would stick up on my arm because it was so god damn creepy.
Crazy Jen and her depressions.
Suzanne when she used to play “Album Covers” and how she would give us the title of the album and then pose for it’s cover.
So many good times. Where we ever really that young and innocent?
I remember so much more, Dustin. Curling up around each other in that tiny twin bed of yours. How your body temperature would rise at night like a heater. How you never wanted to sleep on my mattress on account of the spring that would always poke you in the back.
I remember being high and listening to This Moral Coil and how we both thought the string arrangement on that one song sounded like Madonna’s “Live To Tell”.
The painting you gave me on Valentine’s Day.
I remember the car accident and being put in the back of the squad car. How The Girls were getting high on the roof and watched the whole thing.
Taking care of the secret marijuana garden in The Girls’ basement when they went away for break. Taking care of Marianne’s ridiculous poodle.
I remember being in love for the first time. How terrified I was when you set your mind for LA.
The summer when my friend came to visit and I took acid without telling you – our first big fight and the first time we broke up.
I remember that last summer before your senior year and trying to be “just friends.” I remember how the lines blurred and I will never forget the sting of that first broken heart.
I think about all of it. Probably more than you know ...