The weird thing about TV night over at Valium’s place this evening was that THERE WAS NOTHING ON.
I never imagined myself sitting in front of a television set with absolutely no interest in a single thing.
Of course it’s just Top Model withdrawal coupled with another week without Project Runway.
Thank you baby Jesus for seriously interrupting my regularly scheduled programs.
And I really needed to lose myself in some bad reality tv after all the crap I had to deal with at work.
We worked late tonight on account of all this “year-end” madness that I am sure those of you who work in corporate America are struggling through as well.
My co-worker is out of the office the whole week leaving me to attend to all the daily activities alone.
Of course our CEO sent reinforcements to my department in the form of his two fresh-faced, recently graduated, catholic school girl babysitters.
Oh yeah. I am totally serious.
His goddamn babysitters! You can imagine what a help they are.
I guess when you are as important as him you have two on hand just in case you need to jet off to Europe and take one with you for a week. Which is what he did just two weeks ago – gave her paid time off from work to do it and everything.
The other one was left behind to house sit and of course “help out” at the office which consists mostly of getting in my way and asking completely pointless questions all day like “Who can I get to order me some good pens?”
Of course, they are probably getting paid twice my salary to do things like “decorate the office for Christmas” and the always crucial “filing”.
You know it wouldn’t be so bad if they weren’t so goddamn BITCHY.
I have tried to train them to no avail – they already know EVERYTHING in the way that we all did when we were young.
But when a call comes in they just sort of stare at the screen blankly for a few seconds until finally I give in and take the damn call for them.
Because I can’t stand to see something not done right or watch a vendor relationship I have worked so hard to establish absolutely crumble when they get one of these bitches on the phone smacking their gum and saying things like “Ummm .... ummmm ..... whatever”
I am subjected to listening to Britney Spears through the cubicle walls. Can you imagine?
And one of them even had the audacity to reach her hand into my Panera lunch and try to make off with my sourdough roll.
Okay rule number one: DO NOT FUCK WITH MY FOOD. Under no circumstances. I have worked hard all week eating all the right things so I can sit here and feast on that measly little roll - I WILL KILL YOU before I give it up.
You know I was all about the arm grab and the smacking it out of her hand.
I mean, I get it that you can do whatever you want without ever getting fired on account of you rub elbows and god knows what else with the BIG BOSS - but you are not entitled to my food.
Apparently they are sticking their hands in other places where they don’t belong as well.
Complaints are flooding in from other departments about them not knowing what they are doing, screwing up orders and just generally getting into Lucy Ricardo situations wherever they try to help out. Think the candy factory episode only not funny. Imagine you are the supervisor who gets docked a dollar for every chocolate that winds up caught in the conveyor belt.
What you also need to realize is that it is entirely in the realm of possibility that you would get fired for even suggesting that they may not be the best and brightest new hires at the company.
So I am trying to ignore them as best I can. Send them off to help other people and try to keep them out of my hair.
But they are working my last nerve and I am losing patience.
All I wanted was some crappy tv tonight so I can forget all about the annoying things I subject myself to in order to make a living.
Is a Top Model reunion show too much to ask?